Friday, November 18, 2005

Isn't everyone bipolar? If the left and right brain are so different, it seems that everyone would have the tendency to be bipolar. I feel like both my left and right brain are so strong that often I can't decide which reaction to use. If I see something I can logically understand what is happening, but at the same time my emotions are so strong that they conflict with that logic. These two conflicting chunks of matter tend to lead me towards inaction because I just can't choose which one to go with.

Child's Mind

After speaking of the mind as a controversial subject it reminded me of the first time I learned about the term controversial. I was amazed by the term because it was the first time that I understood that there were topics where the two sides would probably never agree. I don't remember how old I was, but that lesson was the first. After learning the term I used it often because it seemed to hold so much strength in it's meaning.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Focal Point

(to self)
on what actually matters.
on who actually matters.
Don't lose what you know, Don't lose what you want.
Don't lose your focus...
You know what is important so let it be.


It is often said that the brain is a powerful machine. Looking into the reflection of the train car full of people I remembered that line. That image I see on the glass... the glass itself, all could really be just things my brain is creating. Everything I experience once again is my projection of the world. TV screens with disasters far away, once again could all be a figment of this "machinery." The image of the man sitting across from me, the stench of the rails, the hardness of the seat underneath me, the pain in my heart... all controlled by the machine riding around in my skull. Truth or not, it can never be proved because there will always be a response to support the other side. Purely controversial they say. No side will ever win. Well tell me this, if my brain could create all of this, all of what I know, why would it create pain? Would it be for entertainment? For variety? I can't choose a side even for myself; it's even controversial in my brain. The controversy of the controversy in my subject (which happens to be controversial).

Thursday, November 10, 2005


There are...
certain people I can relate to better.
certain things that make me alive.
certain feelings I keep inside.

If I am not honest with how I feel I will start to lose the ability to know myself. Being open creates acceptance within myself.